But

But batters me
Throws me across the room
Flattens me against the wall

Every time I say “I am flawed and
I forgive” the But is right there
At my heels

I butt up against it
As it reminds me just how
It was all my doing

It buttresses its argument
As it logically and patiently
Debates against my worth

It doesn’t even try to
Butter me up
It is direct and relentless

But stares me in the eyes
As if to say
“You already know all this”

And then, just as it
Turns to walk away until
The next time

I get off my butt
And call it back and bow
And ask But to tea