No option of blindness

Just rearranged it a little — see if you like it better this way.

My tongue is heavy with the

Unfamiliar taste of truth

My heartbeat anchors

The melody of the spheres

As they twirl in their emptiness

Where I walk

My heels tap out the suffering

 

Clouds are lost in thought

And cannot seem to yield to rain

The grass has hung its head

The soaring dove is pure —

It has finally divested itself

Of its olive freight

The curtain is thinning

Beyond any viable

Option of blindness

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6 thoughts on “No option of blindness”

  1. I liked the previous form better and a suggestion if I may, although it may sound like nitpicking: using some comas would really help empower the reading I think, as well as the vividness when a reader reads it to himself. I say nitpicking,because the content is great and is really what matters the mos, this would be just a boost to it’s greatness:)

    1. Thanks so much, Oloriel — I really value your suggestions. I usually avoid syntax, but do worry sometimes that it is hard to phrase without. I always welcome your comments and advice. Thanks again.

    2. You know, it occurs to me that the original did not survive the rearrangement. It must now only exist in the e-mails and on Tumblr šŸ˜¦

      1. šŸ˜¦ That is why I always keep separate copies in documents on computer. Maybe there is a Sent e-mail copy from which you can save it?

      2. That is great news šŸ˜€ Like I said, the content I saw here was in both ways great, I jsut prefered the format of the first one šŸ˜€

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